Awesomely Bad (and Funny) Student Responses to Test Questions
posted by Mark on July 2nd, 2009
Let this be a lesson on how NOT to pass a class…
The loophole:
Mr. Literal:
The poet:
It was all going so well: the Will Smith edition:
The art of padding:
Nobody wins with terrorism:
Things you didn’t know about George Clooney:
History lesson:
Drama king:
No respect for the dead:
Mr. Literal, part 2:
Anti-semitism will get you nowhere:
Three steps:
A surprisingly enlightened analysis of “2 Girls 1 Cup”:
Classic:
How to score a zero on a true-false quiz:
Jesus: Civil War hero
The future:
Thinking outside the box:
If all else fails, draw a cute animal:
At least he got a 100:
Oedipus, by Dr. Dre:
Internet Slang 101:
Homework is like pregnancy:
Mark Twain was evil (and he wrote Lord of the Flies):
In her defense, he IS kinda ugly:
The king of awesomely bad essays, Peter Nguyen:
Related content:
July 3rd, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I’m not sure which are funnier, the papers or the teachers’ responses to them.
July 3rd, 2009 at 1:15 pm
[...] I Wish I’d Had the Balls to Write Theseaceonlineschools.com [...]
July 3rd, 2009 at 5:03 pm
xD
Dear lord. I just about died when the one guy Bel-Air’d his teacher.
July 3rd, 2009 at 6:45 pm
I especially liked Jimmy McPherson’s epic battle…
July 4th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
OMG the last 4 were hilarious!
July 5th, 2009 at 3:37 am
I shat a tear of laughter.
July 5th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
funniest thing i’ve read this year
July 7th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Roflmao I…can’t…stop…laughing. We need to find Peter Nguyen and give him a medal. How did he get into honors english if he always wrote essays like these?
I’m dying from laughter. I think I poo’d a little.
July 7th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Peter Nguyen is my hero.
July 8th, 2009 at 4:12 am
pinto was eaten by the monkey men! derr….
July 8th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
LOL funniest sh-t ive read all week
July 9th, 2009 at 4:58 am
I think I’m in love with Peter
July 9th, 2009 at 8:39 am
I’m in love with Peter.
July 9th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Pinto, we hardly knew ye. :’(
July 11th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
I might start watching SNL again if they got Peter Nguyen to write for it.
July 11th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
The teacher has shown how much of a noob he really is in Internet Slang 101.
1. S/he doesn’t know what a “noob” is.
2. “Hopefull (sic.)”, anyone?
July 11th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
LMAO
omg I love this, reminds me of what I do when I don’t know the answer to stuff on tests. XD
LOL, and YES we HAVE TO TRACK DOWN PETER NGUYEN! That dude deserves a medal!
July 12th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
I know Peter…
July 13th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Peter Nguyen was born to gods; his father the famous purple cock monster king of planet /b/, his mother the transcendent platonic form of mom, the one all the jokes spawned from. He grew up in a suburban neighborhood with 1.23 other siblings, a mini-van his mom drove him to soccer practice in, and a complete set of Linkin Park albums he oh so independently listened to in his bedroom. In his artistic ventures he gained most of his inspiration from electropop, Milton, and furry porn (of which he watches on his laggy browser at 2:00 in the morning, jerking off while his parents sleep in the room just down the hall). Details are sketchy upon other things due to the fact that this epic hero, a god among men, is the subject of much urban legend and romantic fantasies. This is a complete description of my dealings with Mr. Nguyen.
July 15th, 2009 at 8:39 am
Holy crap, the Pro: Noob antonym almost made me piss myself.
July 15th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Son a bitch, I drew that lion! The teacher’s lion was drawn by one Ms. Long, a 9th grade Biology teacher at LNHS
July 16th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
this is some funny stuff, hopefully it will inspire my future essays =)
July 17th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
In Peru they have names for many things. One of those things is poeple who write awesome essays. If we had a name for this it would be Peter Nguyen. But we don’t.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, JUDY!
July 18th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
God damn I was one of these kids. My greatest piece was called ‘The Vegan Report’, and I wish there was a copy still around - all I remember is something about how vegans are wrong and not one cow in recorded history has complained about being killed and eaten.
July 18th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
haha the jesus one is probably the best one
i think i pissed my self a bit while reading it
July 20th, 2009 at 1:34 am
Find X.
(X) <— right here!
Beautiful.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:15 am
That paper on 2girls1cup deserved at least a B. The writer has clearly applied an understanding of symbolic interactionism to their analysis of the video.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:23 am
I almost pissed myself.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:02 pm
wow, peter is pretty damn creative. also, hilarious. i think we would have been friends in high school.
also “i don’t really pay attention in your class and i’m pretty high right now” … i would assume so.
July 24th, 2009 at 12:32 am
Awesomeness!!!!! Go Peter!!! Do you know, if you yell the name Nguyen in Vietnam, half of the country will say “Yes?”
July 25th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
ha ha ha! I like the panda part!!!
July 26th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
My goodness! Who is Peter Nguyen?! He should seriously consider comedy writing! Pure gold his essays were!
July 29th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Oh my god I loved that!
Frickin’ Peter. He should have gone into comedy. But he probably couldn’t because he probably got all F’s. That ro his teachers had enough and killed him…
Also I loved the one with the kid who was high.
And the ‘Find the x’ one.
All of these = Laughing my ass off.
July 30th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
lmaooooooooo omg Peter is the sh*t!
i couldn’t stop laughing!
i wonder where he is now,
should be doing more of these for ComedyCentral !
August 25th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
The kid should be thankful he had the professors that he did.
September 11th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
the papers are hilarious, and while they are not on topic, and don’t prove anything, they are well written and understandable, and that makes me feel better about the world.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Forgot one!
http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/0/collegehumor.f3697b38e942ae09896369709fa71f74.jpg
October 8th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
There are pictures of the “Find X” problem in every single math classroom at my school. I’m not even kidding lmao
October 18th, 2009 at 7:59 am
this post was amazing. thank you so much.
October 24th, 2009 at 2:04 am
F*CKING WIN
October 25th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
pure gold
Peter Nguyen needs a medal indeed
October 27th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
As a high school teacher, I had some funny papers too. These papers are hilarious, and teacher’s comments often trumped the students work.
October 31st, 2009 at 10:41 am
LOLOLOL OMFG.
PETER NGUYEN PWNS.
I love the essay where Jimmy fought Hitler and President Maximoto >w<~
November 12th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
lol! Peter Nguyen was such a funny man. He really made me laugh that I shed a tear of laughter.
November 16th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Lol. that has to have been some of the funniest stuff i’ve read in ages.
Peter Nguyen you are an epic legd.
(: omg. just lol. ;’)
wish i knew who he was ;o
melissa james
November 29th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Dear God, that was hilarious. I’m dying of laughter right now. I wonder if any of these kids succeeded in life or if they’re all hobos.
December 3rd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
This is why I quit teaching
December 6th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Peter (Huu) Nguyen originally posted these essays to the forum of an old webcomic, though at the time he was better known for his fanart.
he was able to get away with those essays because his parents didn’t speak english and, well, he was the only one who could translate for his teachers.
these days he does freelance graphic design.
December 8th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
how is Peter in honors english??
December 9th, 2009 at 2:52 am
Hilarious. I’d seen a number of these before, but they’re still pretty awesome. How I longed to write a few essays like that in high school…
Also, there should be a disclaimer that you shouldn’t attempt to drink anything while reading these, I nearly spewed soda all over my keyboard laughing.
December 21st, 2009 at 2:17 pm
LMFAOOOO, the panda was the funniest thing ever.
and freaking the Jesus story.
wow, i love peter.
January 6th, 2010 at 8:13 pm
OMG! I’ve been a teacher for 2 years now. I hope I encounter stuff like this is my career! I haven’t laughed this hard in awhile! These kids are creative geniuses, hah!
January 10th, 2010 at 8:11 pm
BWAHAHAHAHAAAA! That’s hilarious!
January 14th, 2010 at 7:27 am
hahahaha, peter is the greatest! the hitler part was golden. oh man, LMAO
January 19th, 2010 at 8:48 am
Oh sure, when it’s on the Internet it’s hilarious. But when I come home and show far worse things to my mom, she gets mad and calls me a twit.
February 16th, 2010 at 7:42 am
lOL!!!!! Can’t stop laughing!!!!! Hilarious!!!1 I hope someone sends George Clooney his biography! lol!
February 22nd, 2010 at 9:09 pm
OMG I ALMOST DIED! I LOVE PETER!
March 1st, 2010 at 10:17 pm
dude… this is why i want to teach.