This holiday season doesn’t have to be full of brainless activities and presents, no matter how much Nerf is involved. Here are 12 ways to give the gift of knowledge this year.

For Kids:

Discovery Deluxe Touch Screen ATM Machine
This touch-screen toy ATM machine recognizes money denominations, calculates balances and uses both a PIN code and an ATM card, just like a real machine.
Pro: Teaches kids about the value of money.
Con: Doesn’t teach them about bank fees.

Spark Talking Globe
This touch-sensitive globe provides audio facts about the people, animals and geography of the different parts of the world.
Pro: Teaches kids about the continents.
Con: Makes kids think that Europe is purple.

Young Architect Kit
The Young Architect Kit includes all a child needs — paper, pencils, templates, blocks, stickers — to draw building floor plans and create a 3-D replica structure that matches the plan.
Pro: Teaches kids about architecture.
Con: Your kids will bill you $300 an hour to play with it.

Moon in My Room
This (not life-sized) replica of the moon mounts on a wall and lights up at night, rotating through 12 lunar cycles as a child follows along with a moon phase calendar and a CD narrates various lunar details.
Pro: Teaches kids about the lunar cycles.
Con: Might turn your child into a werewolf.

Discovery Tornado Lab
Pour water into the clear container, turn it on and watch a tornado form as sound effects make you feel like you’re in the midst of the action. Variable speeds allow for experiments regarding the damage potential of different categories of tornadoes.
Pro: Teaches kids about the science of tornadoes.
Con: Will invariably destroy your child’s toy trailer park.

Build Your Own Hot Air Balloon
This large, do-it-yourself balloon, made of tissue paper and propelled by cooking oil funneled through a stove pipe, can fly up to 200 feet high. For children over 15 years old — like the tykes in this picture…?
Pro: Teaches kids about the science of ballooning.
Con: Do you need to ask?

For Adults:

InfoScan 2 Elite Scanning Pen
This “pen” can scan 500 pages of text, which you can import into your computer. Or, use the pen’s dictionary to help understand the text, use the translator if the text is in another language, or use the audio function to hear it read aloud.
Pro: Makes for more efficient studying.
Con: You might forget how to read.

Kindle
Like an iPod for the literarily inclined, Amazon.com’s Kindle stores e-books (plus newspapers and blogs) on a small hand-held electronic device for easy access anywhere.
Pro: Lets you keep 200 books at your fingertips at one time.
Con: Lets 200 books slip through your fingertips at one time.

Life Size Skeleton
This full-sized plastic replica of a human skeleton is highly accurate and includes a movable jaw, removable arms and legs, and a removable calvarium (that’s the top of the skull).
Pro: Teaches you about anatomy and bone structure.
Con: You can never bring a date home.

Personal Library Kit
This kit of library items — date stamp, insert cards, pockets, “For Reference Only”" stickers, pencils — lets you become a librarian of your own stock of books, in case freeloaders want to borrow them.
Pro: Helps you keep track of books you lend to your friends.
Con: You will lose all of your friends.

Teach Yourself Icelandic
This set includes two 60-minute CDs and a that book teach Icelandic to beginners in a graduated process that includes self-tests, vocabulary, pronunciation guides and a glossary.
Pro: Teaches you a new language.
Con: You might have to move to Iceland.

Shower Genius Waterproof Notepad
Special all-weather, waterproof paper allows you to write on this notepad in the shower, meaning that your genius ideas will never be lost.
Pro: Increases productivity by letting you write as you scrub your nether regions.
Con: Not enough hot water to finish your novel.

In this era of modern technological advances, it’s easy to put your brain on pause and let computers, PDAs or televisions do the thinking for you, but there are ways to let technology work for your brain, to keep it fresh and build it stronger. You may never become the bionic man, but with recent research showing that the brain continues to grow late in life, it’s never too late for an e-boost.

1. Surf the Web: A recent study hinted at the possibility that using an online search engine for an hour a day can boost your overall brain activity. (Keep it in moderation, though, lest you develop Attention Deficit Disorder or severe social ineptitude.)
2. Use a Wii: If the evidence that exercise increases brain growth doesn’t get you up and moving, consider the fact that obese people have an elevated risk of developing Alzheimer’s. Abdominal fat in particular secretes inflammatory chemicals that affect the brain, so get a Wii Fit and start doing some crunches!
3. Listen to iTunes: There is evidence that certain music can increase your learning and retention ability, as well as your concentration and alertness. The bad news: that music is in High School Musical 3.
4. Play Games: Recent studies have shown that puzzles and word games can improve your ability to focus, and there are dozens of free crossword and suduko websites online, in addition to newspaper sites that regularly feature such puzzles. Even video games can increase cognitive abilities, even if you don’t play ones targeted at your brain, like Big Brain Academy, Mega Brain Boost or Brain Age.
5. Watch TV Shows: What?!? There is a God! Yes, there is evidence that contradicts popular belief that TV turns viewers into drooling zombies, and one study found that kids who watched more TV early in life did slightly better on standardized tests. Of course, it largely depends on what is being watched, so don’t expect those hours of Knight Rider reruns to turn you into a genius. The good news is that nowadays, you don’t even have to have a TV to watch TV, as networks put more and more content on their websites and on general sites like the Internet Movie Database.
6. Read an E-Book: This is a no-brainer (pun intended), but reading is good for your brain. Reading not only helps you learn and boosts your vocabulary, but it also trains your brain to become more focused, increasing your memory and ability to reason. You can download free books at sites like Project Gutenberg, the Internet Archive and Google, or you can use e-book readers like Amazon.com’s Kindle if you’re on the go. (I hear Oprah loves it.)
7. Be Optimistic: According to recent studies, the power of positive thought could be the real deal, with optimistic people suffering fewer strokes and recovering more quickly than pessimists. Browse the myriad of motivational, inspirational and self-improvement sites on the Web and find one that strikes a chord with you.
8. Laugh: Laughing stimulates the brain and other organs (insert joke here), so do it more by frequenting sites like The Onion, Funny or Die or C-SPAN (Funny is in the eye of the beholder.).
9. Take a Quiz: It’s a fact: nerds live longer. Have you ever seen a burly, athletic 90-year-old? Tap into your inner nerd by acing online trivia quizzes on sites like triviaplaza.com and funtrivia.com, then laugh at all the jocks who will die young.
10. Stimulate Yourself: It all comes down to stimulation. Practically anything that stimulates the brain is a good thing, and Lord knows there’s plenty of stimulation on the Internet. One of the keys is to avoid a stagnant routine. Learn a new language, visit new sites, pick up new hobbies, study new topics. Just don’t limit yourself to your usual bookmarked sites (Sorry, Stuff On My Cat.).

Passing an online class can be as challenging as passing a kidney stone. Thankfully, it’s more rewarding in the long run. With these 10 marginally holy tips, you can plan for the unique challenges of distance learning and ensure that your online education is as painless a process as possible.

1. Thou shalt find a proper work environment. Are you using a public computer in a crowded, noisy location? If so, try to find a more controllable environment. Is your Yorkshire Terrier constantly whining for you to play? If so, get a cat.
2. Thou shalt have a reliable computer. Does your PC run on steam? Does your Internet connection go out when you sneeze? Have a backup plan in case disaster strikes. Also make sure your computer meets any software or other requirements that the class has — electricity, for instance.
3. Thou shalt participate. Being at home with a mouthful of Pop Tarts doesn’t excuse you from taking an active role. Online courses frequently involve chat sessions that allow you to clarify issues you don’t understand and to make an impression on your fellow students and your teacher — you know, the person who grades you.
4. Thou shalt not surf. Being online, it’s tempting to quickly check your stocks or the football score or download Season 4 of The Love Boat, but don’t allow your online study time to be derailed by non-school surfing. Save that for when you’re at work.
5. Thou shalt be wary of iTunes. Keep your music at a moderate “background noise” level to avoid drifting off into a rock ‘n roll fantasy world of feathered hair and Lycra.
6. Thou shalt take breaks. If you find yourself sitting in front of the computer for more than an hour at a time, stretch and walk around to refresh your mind and body. Avoid lying down, or you may never get up again.
7. Thou shalt manage your time. Your time is valuable; otherwise, you wouldn’t be taking classes online. Without the forced discipline of a real-world classroom setting, it’s easy to fall into the trap of procrastination. Plan your study, research and discussion time — both online and off. This might mean cutting into your ferret sweater crocheting time, but sacrifices must be made for an education.
8. Thou shalt connect with classmates. Form online study groups or quiz one another through instant messaging or chat sessions. If you live close enough to someone from class, you can even meet in person — or use two tin cans on a string. I’ve always wanted to see if that works.
9. Thou shalt use your school’s resources. Even if the school is online only, it may very well have resources like tutorial services or a virtual library. Just look out for the virtual librarian who shoots you dirty looks when you smack your gum.
10. Thou shalt focus. Learning online requires a high level of reading comprehension. First, learn to read. Then, figure out your most productive time of day — when your mind is sharpest — and use that time to study. Concentrate on understanding the concepts behind what you’re reading before moving on to memorizing particular facts. Keep a calendar of assignment due dates, tests, etc., so that you stay focused on the big picture. (Note: the big picture is not the Mona Lisa, but good guess.)

Not all online schools are created equal. Here are some ways to tell if yours isn’t quite up to snuff.

10. It’s accredited by Coors.

9. You can major in brownie management.

8. You contract a communicable disease from your mouse.

7. Admission requirements include “B.Y.O.B.”

6. The mascot is a cold pizza.

5. Joe Francis is the dean.

4. You’re invited to do a virtual keg stand.

3. It has a fantasy football team.

2. Tuition is payable in Funyuns.

1. It goes offline every day at 4:20.

This Halloween, why not put your education to work by wearing costumes that are not only entertaining but also teach people a thing or two? Here are five suggestions:

Costume: Roald Amundsen
Who is he?: Norwegian explorer
Claim to fame: First person to reach to South Pole and sail through the Northwest Passage (not at the same time).
Talking point: “You know, I once flew over the North Pole in a dirigible.”
Costume: Eskimo-like hooded parka with a wrinkly, weather-beaten face. Try keeping ice cubes in your pocket to make sure your handshakes are realistically frigid and to prevent heat exhaustion from the aforementioned parka.

Costume: Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz
Who is he?: German philosopher and mathematician
Claim to fame: Invented differential and integral calculus.
Talking point: “You’d never guess by looking at me, but I’m the historian for the House of Brunswick.”
Costume: Grow shoulder-length hair, then get a Pollyanna perm — or steal a judge’s wig, whichever is more time-efficient. Dress like Benjamin Franklin and develop a taste for bratwurst and industrial techno music.

Costume: Ned Ludd
Who is he?: British textile worker
Claim to fame: Namesake of the early 19th century Luddite movement, during which textile workers destroyed the textile machinery that was displacing them.
Talking point: “There’s a good chance that I’m mythical.”
Costume: Something resembling a muumuu. Become incensed when anyone uses any form of technology. Angrily grab and smash any cell phones, digital cameras or pacemakers, decrying their usurpation of good old-fashioned human sweat.

Costume: John Stuart Mill
Who is he?: British economist
Claim to fame: Popularized laissez-faire economic policy, proposing minimum governmental interference in the economic affairs of individuals and society.
Talking point: “I co-founded the first women’s suffrage society. What’s your sign?”
Costume: Shave your head and grow muttonchops. Act paranoid and overprotective of your property, accusing everyone you meet of being a “G-Man.”

Costume: The Antonine Plague
What is it?: Ancient pandemic
Claim to fame: Killed up to 5 million people between 165 and 180 AD, including Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (pictured).
Talking point: “I’m highly contagious!”
Costume: Since the disease was most likely either the measles or smallpox, cover yourself with spots — or even better, pustules — develop a fever somehow (knit cap?) and make facial expressions suggesting you have diarrhea.